I Don't Suffer From Insanity,
by AdderFangBasiliskVenom
Summary: 'I Enjoy Every Minute Of It' is the rest of the title. It wouldn't fit. One-Shot, HidaSaku SakuraXHidan. Has been edited.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or the show which is named after him, nor do I own any of the characters which appear in aforementioned show yadda yadda yadda.

**Pairings: **HidanXSakura

**Type: **One-Shot

**Warnings:** Will probably have OOC (Out of Character) -ness. I apologize if there is OOC-ness in the story, I will do my best to...do my best? There will also be swearing, as customary to there is a Hidan in the story. It kind of comes with the package.

**Set: **This story is set in an AU environment.

**Word Count:** 1,496

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><p><strong>I Don't Suffer From Insanity,<strong>

**I Enjoy Every Minute Of It**

**+*+**A HidaXSaku One-Shot**+*+**

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><p>There was a well known - to Sakura anyway - saying. Well it was well known to Sakura anyway, she wasn't quite sure about the rest of the world and their knowledge of the saying. It went like this; I don't suffer from insanity, - and it ended with a 'supposed to be funny' - I enjoy every minute of it. But the thing people didn't know, was that that frame of mind was very real for some people.<p>

Some people like Hidan.

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><p><strong>*_+_*<strong> Page Break ***_+_***

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><p>"Get down from there you stupid, albino, freak!" Kisame shouted up to Hidan...who'd taken up residence on the chandelier. Again.<p>

"Make me fish-face!" Hidan shouted back, a sneer on his face. Hidan began to swing the chandelier back and forth, ignoring the creaks of protest coming from the magnificent, but abused, light.

Sakura sighed, but did nothing to step in. He acted like he was immortal and it would only take near-death experiences to destroy that illusion. Of course sometimes near-death experiences worked in the opposite favor, especially when he stayed alive.

She calmly sipped her hot chocolate and flipped out her newspaper. She was eating breakfast (or drinking breakfast if you want to get technical) in the main entrance. The panicked Tobi had summoned her - the gall - and she decided to bring along her breakfast and paper. It was not like she could do anything anyway, she was only the Akatsuki medic after all. She would help once he'd fallen down and suffered a little. How would be learn his lesson if she helped him right away?

She had decided shortly upon coming to this institute that she wouldn't heal Hidan as soon as he got hurt because; One: he was an ass and a jerk and all the other insulting names you could think of, and Two: he thought he was invincible and Sakura was just plain annoyed by those people. He also liked calling her, and any other girl he greeted, a bitch.

'Bastard.' Sakura thought.

'A very hot bastard though...'

'I have to agree with you there, though everyone in the Akatsuki is hot.'

'Agreed, but Hidan just has something...'

'The dangerous aura and daredevil personality must attract you.'

'You've noticed it too?'

'Well duh, you and me are one in the same...kinda.'

She took another sip of hot chocolate, came back into the world of the living and bit back a shriek.

"Oh, hello there Ita-kun." She greeted cheerfully, once the shock had worn off, "what have I said about sneaking up on me?"

"When you refrain from calling me such a ridiculous nickname, I will refrain from scaring you." He replied, in his usual emotionless tone, though his eyes held the sparks of mirth.

Sakura pouted, "you didn't scare me."

Itachi looked at her as if to say, 'yeeeaaaah, we all believe you...not.'

"I just came to tell you, Leader-sama has requested you use your...special gift...to get Hidan down from the chandelier."

Sakura gaped, "how does he know that Hidan's on the chandelier! Wait, backtrack! How does he know about my...special gift..."

Itachi eyes shifted to the left and then to the right, checking if anyone was listening near by. When he was comfortable in the fact that no was listening in, he leaned in close to Sakura, next to her ear, and whispered.

"Leader-sama knows all." Before backing away, nodding sagely all the way.

'That doesn't answer any of the questions I asked.'

Itachi then turned and left, noting the angry expression on Hidan's face. Hidan obviously didn't like Itachi so close to 'his women' as Hidan proclaimed Sakura was, behind her back.

Itachi smirked at Hidan. Hidan snarled. Itachi left to go report to Leader-sama again, though Leader-sama probably already knew, because Leader-sama knew all.

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><p><strong>*_+_*<strong> Page Break ***_+_***

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><p>Sakura let out a breathe of annoyance and stood. She placed her newspaper and unfinished hot chocolate down on the one-seater table carefully.<p>

She didn't understand why she had to do this, it wasn't like Hidan wouldn't eventually bring down the chandelier by himself. She also didn't want to seem like even more of a freak to these people. She already had a monstrous temper, and could heal people with just a touch.

'Pu-lease. 'These people' includes; an over religious albino, who swears every chance he gets, a shark-guy who's blue and has gills on his face, and a guy who's half white and half black, has multiple personalities and has the power to sink into the ground and call upon plants.'

'Okay, you have a point. Let's do this.'

Sakura walked up to the wall adjacent to the chandelier, measured with her eyes, adjusted her position and then slammed her fist - so quickly some people didn't even catch the in-between movement - into the wall.

A crack appeared and started going vertically up the wall, growing larger and more ominous-looking as it went. When it reached the top it began going across the ceiling, heading directly for the chandelier.

Hidan watched with wide-eyes as it approached, but didn't make a move to get out of the way. When it finally arrived at it's destination the chandelier tilted. And then fell down with a crash.

Sakura walked over to the mess that was once a chandelier and an albino and prodded Hidan's unmoving body with her foot.

Hidan suddenly sprang up, surprising Sakura, and pumped a fist in the air.

"That was fucking awesome bitch!" He exclaimed, Kisame and Tobi agreeing whole heartedly in the background.

Sakura's eye twitched, 'It's like they've forgotten that Hidan was hanging off a chandelier a few seconds ago.'

"And you made even more fucking damage than me. Though this giant light was better than the last piece of crap that pussy put in the 'mansion.' This one lasted longer!"

Sakura whacked Hidan over the head, "would you stop disrespecting me and the Leader." She growled.

"Nope," he smirked.

"Are you suffering from insanity?" She hissed.

"I don't suffer from insanity bitch, I enjoy every minute of it."

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><p><strong>*_+_*<strong> Page Break ***_+_***

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><p>Suddenly Sakura woke up with a start.<p>

An arm snaked around her waist and someone pulled her onto them.

"Have a good dream, Sakura-chan?"

"Yes I did, bastard-kun."

Hidan leaned in and lightly kissed her neck.

"What did you dream about?" He murmured into her ear.

"That time I punched the chandelier down." She answered, shivering lightly, though not from the cold.

"Ah, a beautiful beginning to a beautiful relationship."

Sakura beamed, "I should make bets that you loose more often, I'm loving the you that doesn't swear."

Hidan scowled, "Well don't get used to it, tomorrow's a new day."

"Night, night, bastard."

"Goodnight Sakura."

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><p><strong>+_+<strong> Finished **+_+**

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><p>Constructive criticism and anonymous reviewers (meaning you don't have to log in to review) are welcome. If you see any mistakes please tell me. Thankyou to all my reviewers, you are all loved.<p> 


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